Intro?

I guess I should say a little about myself before I go ahead and move on, huh?

I'm currently 19 years, 6 months, and 25 days old.

I was born in Easton, PA.

I have an older brother, John, who lives in Oregon with his girlfriend, Cassie, and her daughter, Rowen.

I have four parents: Daniela(Mom) married Carl (Stepdad) and Cheech(Dad) married Evelyn (Stepmom).

I'm a third year at the greatest school on earth: UCLA.

I'm studying Geography and GIS Technologies.

I love photography, reading, and traveling.

I'm obsessed with make-up and nail art (I'm sure I'll be posting some pics).

I'm also studying to be fluent in Italian, where my ancestors on my maternal side are from.

I like short walks on the beach (mainly prefer the forest) and my favorite flower is a bright pink peony.

And I've also been struggling with my weight since I was a very young child.

We live in a very cruel world. After the divorce of my parents when I was 4, the weight began to pile on. It was most likely a combination of changing environments and stress in the beginning, but soon just became a way of life. My elementary school years were scarred with memories of bullies and comments and stares. There were neighbor kids that would send me home crying every day because even after a day of playing, somehow the day would end with a comment about my weight. Through middle school, many friends told me to "not be so sensitive". I tried, and yet, my weight was still what defined me. I joined color guard in 6th grade, in hopes of finding some friends and finding a new hobby. I loved it. I was good at it. It was so much fun. And still, my weight was what defined me. My coaches would always suggest that I ran a bit more or try and do a little more exercise to lose the extra pounds. Even with the comments, I stuck with guard until 8th grade, only to quit when I went to high school because I didn't think I could keep up with everyone else. My mom, with worries about her daughter's current and future health, did all she could to help me lose weight. I knew more about nutrition and diabetes then most 10 and 12 year old should have. I have tried everything there is to lose weight: Weight Watchers, Medifast, Atkin's. Only to lose a few pounds and then gain them back. And now, as a third year in college, I'm at my heaviest that I've ever been. Even with the increased exercise and changed eating habits, I managed to gain quite a bit of weight these past two years. A few weeks ago, after having some health problems, I was diagnosed with a hormonal imbalance that could potentially change the future of my life if I don't get my health under control.

So why am I writing? Sure, I feel like many overweight people, especially girls, would NEVER in their right mind write all of this down. So why am I? Because the only difference between now and the other times I've started a diet, is a lack of support. Of course there are people in my life who have supported me in whatever I do, but because I've never really told anyone outside of my immediate family, I never felt the need to continue.

And this stops now. 

Truth be told, I'm tired. I'm tired of being overweight. I'm tired of always having to be the one that doesn't fit. I'm tired of not being able to keep up with others. It's the worst feeling knowing you want to participate in life, and you can't because you just can't. No matter how much my mind wanted me to be a part of a group activity or go to the beach, my body always reminded me that I couldn't. Or at least not fully.

This stops now.

Today is my first day on Keto. What is keto? It's short for Ketosis. I'll leave a link below to all of the information about it, because there is too much to write in this post. (And yes, it is linked to a picture of bacon because, surprise surprise, I get to eat bacon!)

Last year, after driving to Sacramento to see my dad for our biannual Sacramento trip, the most shocking experience I've ever had, was seeing a quick thought cross my dad's mind: he didn't recognize his own daughter. I keep replaying that moment over and over in my head, and just asking myself why? Why on earth did I let it get SO out-of-control? Why was this my battle to be fought? Why couldn't I have just been born skinny? 

My answer?

Because I can do this. If there is one thing about my that people know, it's that I'm stubborn. My stepmom told me that I need to get mad. Really mad. Mad at myself. Mad at what has happened. Because that will give me drive to keep going.

So where do you all come in?

HELP ME.

I can not do this alone. I need people to help me. I need people to support me. I need to be self-conious enough that those moments I want to cheat, I won't, because there are people rooting for me.

Deal?

Obligatory cute photo. ;)